Tom Fogarty - website updates 2019

Website Updates 2019

Anyone who reads this blog regularly (which is maybe 3 or 4 people), will know that I am one of the truly great forgotten innovators of this century; constantly striving forward, unable to rest in my quest for creative perfection, always at the forefront of technology. Life at the bleeding edge. And this is why every 5 or 6 years or so, I update this website slightly.

I’m also a realist though, and know that however well-meaning my returning readers are, they are not the sharpest tools in the box, and are at times, somewhat fickle; so in order to entice them into reading this month’s “techie” article, listing my recent website updates, I’ve had to bribe them with photos of me on the beach wearing budgie-smugglers. Alas! Every artist is also a whore it seems. And if that’s not being and innovator, I don’t know what is.

I’ll attempt to detail the alterations I’ve made as succinctly as possible, but will also pepper the article with some random facts about chimpanzees, tits and Jack the Ripper to keep things interesting.

Firstly, and perhaps the most obvious is the look and feel; I kept the layout and colour scheme largely the same, but have made some global changes to the header – including a new favicon and an improved burger menu in mobile view. I’ve have also removed the Contact and Archive pages as I felt they were unnecessary and have replaced them with a more prominent Search page. I have also made the header nav “sticky” to help usability. In addition to this, I have added some popular and recommended blog posts to the footer, along with an updated list of article categories to help users find content quicker. Throughout the site I have added some subtle CSS3 transition effects and tried to make the general layout more consistent.

At this point I should probably mention the picture at the top of this post. This collage shows how the site has looked at various times throughout the years (2008, 2011, 2013, 2015), and as you can see, I am a web developer whose talents have practically no beginning. You will also see that the current incarnation is very similar to the design used circa 2015, although the underlying framework has changed (which I will bore you with later).

Chimpanzees and baboons share 98.4% of their DNA with us, and some of them could probably make decent websites…

One notable change is the hero banner featured on the homepage. This was designed by my mate, Paul, who painstakingly drew all of my tattoos. I even forced Paul to take a good look at my tattooed arse cheeks even though they are not featured in the actual illustration, as I thought this would be an important part of the creative process for him. Paul previously created a web banner for me several years ago, which can be seen here:

Tom Fogarty - prison web banner

When I last overhauled the site structure in 2015, I used a free WordPress theme called Stanley WP, which I then customised further to suit my needs. This theme utilised a front-end grid-based framework called Twitter Bootstrap that was popular around then. This time I have put together a completely custom theme from scratch using Zurb’s Foundation 6 framework. The main benefit of using a grid layout is rapid development of responsive layouts, and Foundation adopts a mobile-first approach with considered a best practice methodology. I then made use of Google Search Console and the Audit tab in Chrome’s web inspector to optimise the site to the extent that I could arsed with.

England has the biggest tits in the EU (for now) and the average size has increased from 34B to 36D since the 60s. Russia, Finland and Norway are the world leaders, and are all on my list of places-to-visit…

The last consideration was the site’s copy and SEO – in order to improve readability and credibility, and hopefully bolster my search rankings organically. The next mission is to convert my individual blog posts into AMP format, which I hope to do over the next month or so.

As always, feedback is always welcome!

Jack the Ripper only killed in the early hours of the morning and mainly during the weekends, so was obviously a dedicated worker. The killings stopped abruptly in the Autumn of 1888, so possibly he was put on night shifts…

As a reward for reading this tedious article right to the very end, here’s me on the beach in all my glory:

Tom Fogarty - Beach 2019

If you would like to view more of Paul Shinn’s artwork it can be viewed on his site (not made by me):


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This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.