Testicles! Good word that, one of my favourites. So good in fact, that I’ve decided to raise money for men’s balls. Well, testicular cancer to be precise.

Regular readers will know that I don’t need much encouragement to “talk bollocks”, but taking part in Movember this year has provided me with a tenuous ┬álink to do so even more.

I’ve never done anything for charity before – I’m far too lazy and mean – so this will be a new experience for me. Earlier in the year I was coerced into making a cake at work in the name of charity, and I really resented it and kicked up a right fuss. On here I did anyway: I Don’t Like Cake!

I don’t generally donate money to “charidee” either. Basically if you’ve done a fun run or something, and you’ve asked me to sponsor you and I actually gave you money – it means I fancy you. No other reason.

Still, I expect everyone to dig deep and support my moustache growing this year. I hate sanctimonious idiots like Bono and Bob Geldof and I would never want to sound like them, so I’ll just say this: I’ll be saving lives.

That’s what I do; I save lives.

Anyway, to try and promote this a little bit, I did this rather excellent self-portrait of myself. Isn’t it good?

Actually this is a lie, it was drawn by Paul Shinn (who has a full beard, but alas, no moustache).

You can sponsor me here: mobro.co/spiderwebdesign


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