Tattoo Stats

One of my most popular blog posts was back in 2010 where I listed out all my tattoos and the meanings behind them. Needless to say, I’ve had quite a few more since then so that list is now well out of date – but you can view it here if you wish. These days one of the questions I get asked often is “how many tattoos do you actually have then?“, to which my stock answer has been “I’ve lost count…“. Taking this into account, I’ve decided to write a new blog post with an updated list of my inkage along with some photos for you lot to wank over. But not today.

In the meantime, here is a list of random tattoos stats following a count-up I did last night when I was bored.

34 is the number of tattoos I currently have. 32 of these were done professionally in a shop and 2 of these were DIY jobbies at home (I had 6 other homemade tattoos that I’ve since had covered up, and 1 on my heal that faded away to nothing).

1 tattoo is currently still in progress; this is a full backpiece by Calypso Saga. Calypso previously did my full left leg which took 8+ sessions in total. I will blog separately about this later, but for now take a look at her website.

19 people in total have tattooed me, including Chad Koeplinger, Melissa Szeto, Liam Sparkes, Mil Martinez – plus myself and 2 friends from the pub.

2 of my tattoos were done abroad in Amsterdam and on the island of Koh Samui in Thailand.

0 of my tattoos are on my chest, neck, left arm, belly or cock! (This might change in the future…)

5 tattoos are on my ribs.

9 of my tattoos feature animals; mainly tigers/cats and snakes.

3 of my tattoos depict genitals: 2 willies and 1 minge. I’m planning on getting some nude ladies etched onto the gaps on my leg to readdress this balance.

6 are paying homage to heroes: GG Allin, Sebastian Horsley, Tom Fogerty, Michael Jackson, Vlad the Impaler and Voltaire.

12 of them feature skulls or dead things. This includes the the grim reaper, the voodoo symbol for death, the Russian criminal symbol for murder, a zombie, Medusa’s severed head, a coffin, a ghost, a slain wolf etcetera.

And that’s your lot for now!


GG Allin, Lists, Sebastian Horsley, Tattoos


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.