Photoshop Tattoos 2014

Back in 2010 - in a time before I had many tattoos or could grow a proper moustache - I was bored one night and decided to add ink to my torso digitally using Photoshop. The results were as diabolical as you can imagine, a proper dog's dinner - and can be viewed here. Then I tried the same jape again in 2011, albeit by that time a couple of the tattoos were actually real and my moustache was marginally better. The results were slightly better and you can see them here. These proved to be two of my most popular blog posts ever, which shows there's no accounting for taste if nothing else - although they also provoked a lot of online abuse as well (which I quite like). I decided to push my luck again in 2014 when I attempted this again, but never bothered to post the picture and promptly forgot about it. By chance I stumbled upon the image whilst cleaning up my  laptop the other day and as it's Halloween, I thought I might as well share. The main differences being a couple of additional real tattoos, plus more beard and less  penis on display. I'd also perfected my Charles Manson stare by this time.

I Love Prison

This tattoo isn't new - I did it last year - but realised I hadn't posted about it directly before. I did it myself using a needle and thread and it took about 3 hours of patience to poke it in dot by dot. I was inspired by my 2 bibles: Home Made Tattoos Rule and the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia. I was originally going to pay tribute to the book by etching in "Home Made Tattoos Rule", then "Prison Tattoos Rule", before finally deciding on "I went to prison and all I got was this lousy tattoo". This entire thought process took me about 5 minutes. Half way through the first letter, I realised this would take forever to finish, so opted for "I <3 PRISON" instead. Here's a couple of pictures (probably not for the squeamish). I've been thinking recently that I think I'd quite like it in Prison; all the tattoos, and I hear you can get drugs easily in there. Then there's the free pool table. I could even brew some gut-rot moonshine under my bunk. I think I'd enjoy all the male banter and I get on well with most people so I don't think I'd get my head kicked in too often. I wouldn't get to have sex with any girls, but then again I don't get the chance in real life either. My mum reckons as I'm a pretty boy I'd probably get raped fairly regularly (these are the kind of conversations I have with my mum) - but I've seen Scum loads of times - and all you need to do is carry around a sock filled with billiard balls. If I was really lucky I'd get to share a cell with Gary Glitter.

Prison Tattoo Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tejce7senR0
Someone sent me this video via YouTube (@splattermac) because it made them "think of me". It's about 6 minutes long, but is well worth watching - it shows New York tattoo artist, Scott Campbell, making a prison-style tattoo machine and tattooing his friend in the park. Keep it real!

Ego Surfing (because I’m worth it)

I did a little bit of "ego surfing" last night before bed. And why not? I've mentioned before that I'll never be top of the rankings for "Tom Fogarty" - as there's just too many famous Tom Fogartys about. Some of them even hold down steady jobs and have girlfriends and stuff. I decided to broaden the search a bit, and tried "Tom Fogarty web designer". This pulled in my website, my LinkedIn profile, and not a lot else.. I then tried "Tom Fogarty tattoos". Bingo! Tons of my blog entries turned up. Also, high up on the first page of hits, was this little gem (that I didn't even know existed). And that's why I'm giving them a plug here... Inked Guys is a Tumblr photo blog, unsurprisingly, full of inked guys. My tattooist, Liam Sparkes, features on the same page (the bloke wearing the horned mask) - and there's tons of other good pictures on there too. It may look suspiciously like gay porn, but it's well worth checking out! SpiderWebDezign on Inked Guys inkedguys.tumblr.com

Russian Criminal Owl Tattoo

Not blogged in ages, been really busy. If you follow this Blog, you'll know that a few weeks ago I went to Primavera Sound, and was quite excited about it. To mark the occasion I decided to get a tattoo while I was there. Trouble was, I couldn't find a tattoo shop. I came home un-inked. Luckily, I was booked in to get a new tattoo with Liam Sparkes a week later, back in London. So I guess this is my Primavera tattoo. Funnily enough, while I was getting it done, Liam told me he was at the festival too - and he did get a tattoo done while out there. His was done by Jondix. So this is it (proving once again that I cannot pose for photos). It's a Russian criminal tattoo, taken from the cover of The Russian Criminal Encyclopaedia Vol. III. It represents "a murderer". I already have Russian tattoos of a cat and a spider - which represent "a thief". If you ask me to explain why I chose these - I can't, really. Not to normal people anyway. For me, tattooing is about irony: choosing to get a tattoo is all about being brave and being stupid. You can't really justify it too much. If you do, you're just being pretentious. Go with the flow. And everyone ends up with the tattoo they really deserve... Incidentally, the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia Vol. II sells for silly money on Amazon now that it's out of print. I want a copy.

Russian Criminal Tattoo

I've been doing too many home tattoos on myself lately (3 in the last week). I started this skull on my thigh ages ago, but stopped as it wasn't very good. Then a few days ago I decided to have another crack at it, so I added an oak leaf to it and started sharpening up the outline on the skull. I'm going to try and fix the crown and cigar next, before finishing the skull outline fully, and then lastly I'll try and add some shading. It was inspired by the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia by Sergey Vasiliev and Danzig Baldayev. The best thing about criminal tattoos - is that if they turn out to look shit - they still look authentic. In other unrelated news, this evening I managed to block up my bath plughole with my pubes.

Pirate Scar Tattoo

I've been a bit lazy with keeping this blog up-to-date recently, but that's only because I've been so busy. I did find some time to etch a couple of new tattoos on myself though. I did them at midnight last Thursday. They are very simple designs - a pirate scar and a cross (This is England skinhead style) but I'm pleased with the results. I did the cross totally freehand, with no stencil. I used red ink - so the tattoos look ultra bloody - although really they're not.

How Not To Tattoo Yourself

So anyone reading this probably knows I'm a fan of the odd tattoo here and there, and that recently I've been doing a few of my own. The results have been mixed at best, but if you need a quick recap: Tom Fogarty - Tattoos More Dog Bites GG Allin Tattoo I was quite pleased with my last attempt (the GG Allin tribute) , but alas, it didn't last long. After just a few weeks it began to fade fast. This left me with 3 options: 1) Leave it to fade 2) Get a professional to sort it out 3) Have a second attempt myself. Anyone who knows me well, will know that I had to choose option 3 - even if I would end up making a total mess of it... I decided to try a coverup - a simple bomb design. My reasons were thus: 1) It reminded me of the Danger Mouse cartoon from my childhood 2) It reminded me of the Bob Ombs from Super Mario Bros. 3) It has significance in Russian criminal tattoo parlance 4) It would be easy to do. Well, I can say with certitude that it was a magnificent failure. Rather than improving my technique, this turned out to be a lesson in "how not to tattoo". If you can imagine an episode of Mr Bean, in which Mr Bean attempts to tattoo his heal, that would be pretty near the mark. At first my stool was too tall; I could only reach the pedal at a stretch. This made me knee jig up and down (and this was to be the surface on which I rested my heal while tattooing). I decided to sit on the floor instead. I then had to contort my body into a yoga-like pose to reach the spot. The kind of pose you'd have to get in to if you were to try and suck your own dick (not that I've tried of course - I wouldn't do that, honest...). Then the needle kept snagging in my skin. I shortened the length of the needle and changed the angle at which I was holding it. Then I ran out of ink. After refilling my cap, the tattoo machine stopped working altogether. The coil seemed to stop conducting electricity. Or something. I'll have to buy another bloody one now. So here are the (half-finished) results. If I could retract my actions  and have an unmarked foot - would I? No way! With the benefit of hindsight I can now say that my earlier attempts stayed in due to beginner's luck rather than raw ability. In my defence, however, I've since read this information: Yahoo Answers

New Tattoos 2011

I've been blogging for just over a year now and I'm coming close to 100 posts. One of my first blog posts last year, was a picture of my tattooed torso and it was very popular. I also stuck the picture up on Flickr and it was by far my most viewed picture. The only trouble was that the tattoos were actually photoshop gimickry. I thought I'd upload a new version one year on, and yes - those ARE long johns (for that authentic prison/gulag-look). And as you can also see, I hang to the left.. Some are genuine, some are pretend, and some are intended for the new year. As always, comments and feedback and always welcome!

New Tattoos… Sort Of

I'm clearly a bloke with too much spare time on his hands this weekend (what with the snow and all) - but rather than sitting round in my pants, masturbating to Natalie Imbruglia "nip slips" - I decided to Photoshop some new tattoos on my arms. Some are real, some are not...     I'm seriously considering getting some of these done now...

Prison Tattoos (with Photoshop)

Around Xmas time last year I was playing around with Photoshop, and I put a load of tattoos on my skinny torso. This was like a blueprint of random ideas and the results can be seen below. Some of them are fake, some of them are real (and as you can see from the look on my face - tattoos really do make you happy). I was bored this evening so I did a similar thing with my left thigh. Again, some are real, some are fake...

I Went To Prison and All I Got Was This Lousy Tattoo…

Having signed up to every social networking site possible in order to shamelessly plug my websites, I thought maybe some hot male nudity might help... Actually, I've been arsing around with Photoshop. All tattoos taken from duncanx.com PS. My new year's resolution is to smile more..