Pigeon Shit and Franko B

Today was National Cleavage Day in the UK, and I must be honest, I’m a bit disappointed with the outcome. Seriously, I didn’t see a decent pair all day – not enough effort, ladies!

I was cheered up a bit at lunchtime, however. I was on Lower Road Market at Waterloo, and I saw Franko B walking along, taking his dog for a walk. For those not in the know, Franko B is a heavily tattooed performance artist – his work features lots of nudity and lots of blood; real blood. It’s very dark, disturbing subject matter, but very powerful. I reckon Franko is a very interesting, if somewhat troubled, individual. This is his website (adult content warning!). I’m probably the only person in the world who would recognise him walking his dog!

Soon after that, a pigeon did a shit on my head.

Actually, the majority of it hit some other bloke and then the spray rebounded on to me and another bloke. 3 strangers plastered in the poo of some renegade bird. We all swore then burst out laughing. Then we wiped each other down. Sounds odd, but it was a really uplifting “happy to be alive” moment. We didn’t start sucking each other’s dicks or anything though.

I was supposed to be going out tonight with a really beautiful, funny and intelligent girl – but it got cancelled, alas. Still a good day though.


Art, Funny


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.