No Pants!

Confession time!

I don’t have a washing machine as there’s not enough room in my kitchen (it’s the size of a shoe box). There is, however, a communal washing machine for all the residents where I live. This stopped working about a month ago. There must be a launderette somewhere in Camberwell, but I’ll be buggered if I can find one!

The result of this is that I’ve been hoarding up my dirty washing for weeks. I’ve been wearing the same clothes a lot more often then I really should, and my stockpile of dirty pants has been growing higher and higher…

On Friday I could bear it no longer, so I decided to take all my washing to my mum’s place to clean. This meant I had to take all my clothes to work with me, stuffed into a bag like some traveling tinker.

I got most of the washing done on Friday night, but none of my pants were dry by the morning. The only option was to “go commando” for the day. I announced this on Twitter for a bit of a laugh, and ended up losing 5 followers as a result.

Luckily, a pair was dry by Saturday evening as I was going out drinking in Brixton (and I really didn’t want to go to Brixton without any pants on). I had visions of the outrage it would cause there: “WHAT??  MAN IN THE TOILET’S NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!! RASCLART!!! GET HIM!!!!

I had to go and collect my bag of freshly clean, dry pants this morning (nursing a small hangover) – and somehow managed to leave them on the bus!

I could have called up the garage and told them that I lost all my pants on the bus, but it wasn’t really a conversation I wanted to have. Now I have only one pair of pants – and there’s some bastard out there wearing the rest.


Funny, London Life


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.