New Year’s Resolutions for 2014
Most people make their New Year’s resolutions on 1st of January, don’t they? Well not this cat. Mainly because I was in Thailand on that date, but also because I’m somewhat bone idle. I’ve been back in London for 2 weeks now, but wisely I’ve been using that time to be thoroughly depressed and mope around in a vaste vat of apathy and disappointment. So now, almost a month into the new year – I present to you my key goals for the next 11 months:
- Sleep with a girl
Not much of a surprise, this one. In fact it’s been on my list every year since around 1992. Never happens though.
- Go on holiday
I’ve now caught the travelling bug so I’m eager to explore some more adventurous places. Cambodia would be good. I also want to get back to Thailand as soon as possible and check out Chiang Mai. Maybe I’ll manage to make it to Wat Bang Phra this time and get a tattoo off a funky monk.
- Get my leg tattoo finished
I’m about halfway through a full leg tattoo by the awesome tattooist, Calypso Saga. I’m dead keen to have this completed (then on to the next!).
- Go swimming
I’ve been talking about this for ages but it’s one of those bloody things I never get round to. It’d be a good way to keep fit and I might actually even enjoy it. Maybe.
- Learn to drum
Same as above really; it’s something I’ve always been keen to try. It would also give me something to keep my spazzy hands occupied (besides wanking).
- Save some money
Because I spunk too much of it up the wall and everybody knows that the best things in life are really really expensive.
- Stay out of the pub
Most of my money seems to disappear in boozers, so in order to achieve No.6 – I’ll have to cut down on my liquid intake.
- Do the Lottery
I’ve never actually done the Lottery. Not even once. The only reason this is on my list is because I’m sure I won’t be able to manage No.7, meaning that I’ll have to win the Lottery in order to stash some cash.
- Heal the world
If I get through that lot, I also intend to sort out world peace and put an end to famine in the third world. This one’s a low priority though.
Happy New Year!