London’s Burning

Strange days in London at the moment – social uproar, fighting in streets, looting, burning buildings etcetera.

Monday night was the worst, at least where I live; it seemed like all of Camberwell and Peckham were ablaze. Shops were smashed and boarded up, nothing was open. This spelt out particular catastrophe for me, as I didn’t have any food in the flat. And more importantly, no cigarettes.

At the time, I’ll admit, I was quite excited by the whole situation. The stock markets had crashed, a lightning strike had hit Amazon’s web servers and lots of our company websites had been down for 2 days. And then there was pillaging aplenty. In short, it felt like revolution was in the air.

On my way home from work (I had to walk most of the way), the sky turned very dark and the atmosphere was electric. There was a real sense of danger in the air. I’d seen on the news that day how trouble had started breaking out  in random pockets across the capital and was spreading fast. I was reminded of the song Armageddon Days are Here by The The or White Riot by the Clash.

At 11pm that night I went out to take some pictures in Rye Lane – but it was complete chaos – like a scene from Watchmen or something. I got a bit scared and came home again.

When I found out who was causing the trouble though, I became sickened. Scumbag dole-scrounging teenagers, who claim to be from the ghetto.  Some people online tried to intellectualise about it, asking that we look at the social and economic reasons behind this uprising. Citing that these youths felt marginalised, overlooked and had nothing to do with their time. Utter gash!

You can try to be as clever about it as you like, but sometimes only common sense will do. You don’t need to be a professor to see that these people are low-life scum. The truth is, that this country is very liberal. Too liberal. If you are unemployed in this country – everything gets paid for you. You have an easy life on the dole. And I know this because I’ve been on the dole before. And that’s why people come from all over the world to live here, in order to make use of the free services – without contributing – and they bleed the system dry.

Another factor often claimed, is that there are no jobs out there. Again, this is nonsense. There are plenty of jobs out there – it’s just that they don’t want to do any of the ones that are available. That is the difference. Poor education is not a valid excuse either. We have a good education system here – but these people choose not to learn. Instead they’d rather develop a “heavy rep” and that’s where the trouble stems from.

Ghettos are created by the people in them. They want to believe that they are American-style gangsters. They hang around the streets, intimidating people (sometimes worse) – in order to “look hard”. They behave badly because they get a kick out of it, and because they know there is no real deterrent.

I sound like a borderline Nazi now, but sometimes I think it would be very easy to become one.

This country does need a revolution, but not by the likes of them. Normal people should say enough is enough and start pissing through their letterboxes.

There was talk on the news of using plastic bullets against the rioters, but what about plastic bullets dipped in shit? Or better still frozen turds. They wouldn’t like that. If every good citizen did a poo inside a condom, stuck it in the freezer overnight, then hurled it at a rioter – this country would be a better place today.


London Life, Woe


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.