List Mania 8: Things To Do With a 3D Printer
3D printers are all the rage at the moment (apparently) – although I’ve yet to meet anyone who actually has one. In any event, I thought I’d spend a bit of time listing out some of the amazing things you can do with them.
1. Make a gun. It’s already been well documented online that someone has already managed to make a gun that is capable of firing bullets using a 3D printer – but why not go one step further? For example, you could use a 3D printer to build a gun and then become a Charles Bronson Death Wish-style vigilante and clean up the streets from crime. Or if you’re not inclined to do that, you could use it to shoot at a cop.
2. Print another 3D printer. This is a bit like being granted 10 wishes and using your first wish to wish for 100 more wishes. It should be against the rules really, but it isn’t. Printers are notorious for breaking down too, so it would be wise to have a spare.
3. Print a bicycle. Specifically, print a Penny-Farthing bicycle using your 3D printer and ride it around Shoreditch like a dandy hipster. It’ll be the next big craze, trust me.
4. Build a car/rocket. Taking the transportation idea one step further, print out all the parts needed to build a car. Or better still, a rocket. Then you could run over pedestrians and stuff. Or fly to other planets and discover alien life (then make them extinct).
5. Make a giant cannon and fire yourself into the heart of the sun. This one speaks for itself really.
6. Print out a woman. Then have sex with it. It would be just as good as a real woman but without all the talking, jealousy and menstruation etcetera.
7. Print a house. And then live in it. Alternatively, if you already have a house – you can increase the value of it by printing out a loft extension. If you’re very public spirited you could also print out a drop-in centre for drug addicts or the homeless etcetera.
This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.