In his latest (and rather good) book, The Road to Little Dribbling, Bill Bryson proposes the idea of what he calls “Reflex Loathing“. This notion is simply that that everyone should be allowed to choose “a dozen or so things that they dislike without having to justify or explain to anyone why they don’t like them“. I liked this concept so much that I was inspired to write my own list, the only problem being how to narrow the list down to only 12…
1. People getting in the way. Especially people who insist on wearing their rucksacks on crowded trains.
2. The constant need for people to be permanently glued to their phones these days, especially young people.
3. People who add “LOL” to the end of their sentences. Also people who don’t understand subtle humour. If you need to indicate that something is a joke – it probably wasn’t that funny in the first place.
4. The use of the word “mandatory” over the word “compulsory“.
5. Mornings. There is no excuse for talking to me before 11am. Ever.
7. BMW drivers who always refer to their car as “The BMW“. Examples: “I’m just taking the BMW out for a spin..” or “I waxed the BMW today, because I’m a cunt.”
8. Admin charges for buying gig tickets online.
9. Films that are longer than 1hour, 40 minutes for no good reason.
10. The ubiquity of James Cordon.
11. Any form of exercise besides wanking or dancing (sometimes at the same time).
12. Pints that cost more than £5.