Tom Fogarty - Rasputin

I’m Not Dead (part 2)

So, I’ve got to the age of 33 and a half, and I’m still not dead. I’ve not blogged much this year and I’m sure you’re all dying to know what I’ve been up to? In truth, not very much. The main reasons for this are twofold, namely: a) being skint, and b) being a very lazy bastard.

Take tonight for example; it’s the bank holiday weekend and I could have gone out to a party, but instead I decided to stay in and sit in my pants, writing this blog post and listening to Marilyn Manson.

I’ve been doing a lot of boring life admin this year – the kind of stuff no-one likes doing, and yet do it we must. I think I’ve neglected this stuff for the last 10 years and it’s all piled up and then fallen on top of me all at once.

Workwise, my office moved location back in April which has been quite good. Mainly because I’m working in a new area with new pubs and new barmaids to terrorise. I also got a small pay rise, due to all the hard graft and amazing coding I do. Or something like that.

Those small victories aside, my main achievement in 2014 has been growing a beard.

I’ve haven’t gone to any festivals and I’ve not even been to many gigs. I’ve seen Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (great band, but totally impossible to understand a single word of it or tell when one song stops and the next one starts), Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza Underground (good but weird), and Elvis Costello (the sod only did acoustic stuff).

Probably the easiest way to summarise the last 8 months might be to go back through my New Year’s Resolutions for this year, and see how many I’ve ticked off:

Sleep with a girl
Don’t be bloody stupid!

Go on holiday
I’ve booked to go to Thailand, Cambodia and Laos for 3 weeks in November (a big part of the reason I’m skint at the moment).

Get my leg tattoo finished
Nearly there. One final session to go in October and my left leg will be completely filled in.

Go swimming
Fuck off!

Learn to drum
Nope (see answer above).

Save some money
I am trying, honest – but London is such an expensive city to live in.

Stay out of the pub
Sort of. I’m not been to my local in ages, due to the fact that they’ve put the price of Guinness up to £4.25 a fucking pint. The steep price hike is probably a deterrent in honour of me – as the staff are sick of seeing my face each and every day. I’m also barred from the Hermits Cave and the Stormbird now, which limits my options somewhat. Soho is also no longer one of regular haunts (seeing as I don’t work there now) – but I have been pissing it up in Hackney a fair bit of late.

Do the Lottery
Couldn’t be arsed once I’d found out it’s two quid a pop.

Heal the world
I do my best.


London Life, News, Woe


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.