Happy Birthday Jesus!

The best thing about Christmas Day is that you’re allowed to drink alcohol at 9:30 in the morning; it’s the one day of the year when it’s actually socially acceptable to behave like Oliver Reed. And I live that.

I got some good presents this year – a history book by Henry Mayhew called London Labour & The London Poor, a DVD called Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide, and The Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia: Volume III. These all came from my mum – and they may sound like odd presents – but it’s great gifts like these that have made me in to the sensible, well-adjusted role model I am today.

I also received loads and loads of pants.

If you want to find out why read here.

Videos Nasties have appealed to me since I was a teenager – I liked the  lurid box covers you used to see in video shops, with titles such as Cannibal Terror, Don’t Look in The Basement and I spit on Your Grave. In fact, along with the trailers, the box art and crude titles are better than the actual films themselves.

Russian criminal tattoos have also been a big influence in my life, and are part of the reason I’m scared to set foot in Russia in case I’m murdered.


Art, Tattoos, Video


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.