If you’re fed up with your life, and really depressed – to the extent where you’ve lost all hope for the future – you could try calling the Samaritans. And if – even they, cannot help – you may well find yourself calling the The World Travel Awards in desperation.
If you call out of hours though, you are likely to be greeted by this cheery little message (turn your speakers up high if you want to hear):
I was forced to record this yesterday by my boss. Voicemail messages come under the responsibility of the IT department i.e me. Rather than record it directly in to the phone (which would have been far too obvious), I was made to record it using a microphone into a dictaphone, before uploading the WAV file.
I ad-libbed the message and recorded it in one take, because I am a consummate professional, something akin to Jack Nicholson or Frank Sinatra.
This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.