5 Minutes In The Life of An Idiot

Decided to have a bath in the afternoon yesterday – I’m on annual leave – and why not?

I got into the bath and sat down, then realised I left the soap in the other room by the basin. Idiot!

Frustrated, I stood up then dropped my only towel in the bath – completely soaked through. Idiot!

I got out and did a strange tip-toe hop into the other room to get the soap. I looked a bit like the child chatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (only without a net and naked). I then slipped on the wet bathroom floor, skidded and hit my head on the toilet. Idiot!

Stepped back into the bath, but before sitting down I spotted that I’d forgot to to close the curtain; the Nigerian man in the estate next door was standing there looking at me – with a clear view of my cock. Idiot!

I sat down, humiliated, and pretended that none of this just happened. I then notice that I also forgot my flannel. I’ll be 30 in a matter of weeks. And I am an idiot.

The end.


Funny, London Life


This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.