2015 in Review
(or to be more accurate, My Shit Life in 2015)
It’s that time of year again when I like to look back and assess my achievements over the past year, and also briefly summarise any important news stories that have occurred. The only problem with this is that I’m becoming increasingly bone-idle and boring in my pursuits, and so I’ve found it incredibly difficult to remember anything noteworthy that I’ve done in the last 12 months. In fact I could actually sum it up in 7 words (which would be far more suited to a text messsage, Tweet or even a fucking post-it note, rather than a blog post); I have done bugger all in 2015.
I’ve had a look back at my 2014 in Review as a starting point, the gist of which can be condensed thus: I’ve not had any sex this year, so next year I intend to have some sex. This goal I have successfully smashed in 2015, having victoriously managed to have even less sex in the last year (something I didn’t even think possible, 2014 being a record I thought would never be beaten).
So what have I done?
My main achievement – undoubtably – is growing and maintaining a moustache whilst simultaneously preserving the same level of baldness. In addition to this this I’ve been to a few gigs, some of the highlights being L7, Madness, Gaz Coombes, The Fall, Caravan Palace, Warpaint, Electric Wizard and Molotov Jukebox. I also saw the new Mad Max film 3 times at the cinema.
I have continued getting tattooed and am finally beginning to make some progress. I am currently halfway through a back piece by Calypso Saga and I also had a small tattoo by Duncan X, which has been on my to-do list for a long time now.
I also managed to squeeze in a short holiday and visited Berlin for a week – another item that has been on my to-do list for ages – and drank a lot of booze and had a lot of fun. I got robbed and fined whilst there – for bonus points, which has become fairly standard for me when abroad over the last couple of years.
In other news (i.e global news, or the news), 2015 has been a triumph for unified, united multiculturalism, proving that human beings can live side-by-side, respecting each others’ beliefs and value systems – without resorting to violence…
Rock legend, Shane MacGowan, also got some new teeth.
See you next year!
Categories:Funny, London Life, Woe
This is a personal website and the views expressed here are my own (or stolen from other people down the pub). Facts may not be accurate, or could be poorly paraphrased gags borrowed from proper writers - or simply, outright lies.