You know when you're writing and stuff, be it a blog post, or book, a thesis, police statement, the occasional letter to the reader's page of Razzle etcetera
- and sometimes you feel all inspired and it's really easy and the creativity pours out of you like jism at a bukkake party? And then at other times it's really difficult and you think fuck it, this will have to do, and you churn out any old bollocks and hope you'll get away with it? Well this is one of those times.
So fear ye not little person, even someone as amazingly talented as me can't be arsed and has an off-day sometimes.
With that in mind, here's a boring list of all the tattooists (and I use that term very loosely in places) that have etched upon my skin at one time or another. You'll have to make do with this until I can think of something better to write this month...
A big Irish biker-type who tattoos all the chavs from Nunhead and Peckham in South London. This was in 1998 when I was 17 at Fantasy Tattoos.
Works at Tattoo Living Image in Greenwich. Old school. Decent bloke. Instagram here
Random Brazilian bloke
At London Tattoo Convention circa
2007. Looked like a member of Sepultura.
Everyone knows Liam, has his own shop these days called Old Habits in trendy Dalston. Instagram here
Tattooed me a few times at Diamond Jack's in Soho. Quality stuff. He's a wrestler these days. Instagram here
This was at Kids Love Ink in Deptford. On my arse. Instagram here
Famous American tattooist. The tattoo cost a small fortune, rattled out in 20 minutes. Instagram here
Tattooed me a couple of times in Soho. Has her own shop nowadays. Instagram here
Large-scale Japanese specialist. Works from a private studio in Muswell Hill. Instagram here
Random Amsterdam tattooist
Somewhere in the Red Light District (I think?). I was wankered at the time.
Because I'm an idiot.
Some barmaids from the local pub
Because I'm an idiot.
Kids Love Ink again. On my arse again. Instagram here
Good fun. Tattooed me in his shop in Camden. Instagram here
A true gent from Italy. Instagram here
Diamond Jack's in Soho again. Instagram here
Tattooed me at Trash City Tattoos in Berlin. Instagram here
A bigger GG Allin and Misfits fan than I! Instagram here
Tattooed me at the London Tattoo Convention. Instagram here
Legend. H-E-R-O. Instagram here
Gian Maurizio Fercioni
Most recent tattoo whilst in Italy (can be seen in the photo at the top of the page). 70+ year old. Special one, this. Instagram here
If you cross-reference this with the list here
- you will see how life rarely goes how you expect it to.