I Love Prison

This tattoo isn't new - I did it last year - but realised I hadn't posted about it directly before. I did it myself using a needle and thread and it took about 3 hours of patience to poke it in dot by dot. I was inspired by my 2 bibles: Home Made Tattoos Rule and the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia. I was originally going to pay tribute to the book by etching in "Home Made Tattoos Rule", then "Prison Tattoos Rule", before finally deciding on "I went to prison and all I got was this lousy tattoo". This entire thought process took me about 5 minutes. Half way through the first letter, I realised this would take forever to finish, so opted for "I <3 PRISON" instead. Here's a couple of pictures (probably not for the squeamish). I've been thinking recently that I think I'd quite like it in Prison; all the tattoos, and I hear you can get drugs easily in there. Then there's the free pool table. I could even brew some gut-rot moonshine under my bunk. I think I'd enjoy all the male banter and I get on well with most people so I don't think I'd get my head kicked in too often. I wouldn't get to have sex with any girls, but then again I don't get the chance in real life either. My mum reckons as I'm a pretty boy I'd probably get raped fairly regularly (these are the kind of conversations I have with my mum) - but I've seen Scum loads of times - and all you need to do is carry around a sock filled with billiard balls. If I was really lucky I'd get to share a cell with Gary Glitter.

Russian Criminal Owl Tattoo

Not blogged in ages, been really busy. If you follow this Blog, you'll know that a few weeks ago I went to Primavera Sound, and was quite excited about it. To mark the occasion I decided to get a tattoo while I was there. Trouble was, I couldn't find a tattoo shop. I came home un-inked. Luckily, I was booked in to get a new tattoo with Liam Sparkes a week later, back in London. So I guess this is my Primavera tattoo. Funnily enough, while I was getting it done, Liam told me he was at the festival too - and he did get a tattoo done while out there. His was done by Jondix. So this is it (proving once again that I cannot pose for photos). It's a Russian criminal tattoo, taken from the cover of The Russian Criminal Encyclopaedia Vol. III. It represents "a murderer". I already have Russian tattoos of a cat and a spider - which represent "a thief". If you ask me to explain why I chose these - I can't, really. Not to normal people anyway. For me, tattooing is about irony: choosing to get a tattoo is all about being brave and being stupid. You can't really justify it too much. If you do, you're just being pretentious. Go with the flow. And everyone ends up with the tattoo they really deserve... Incidentally, the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia Vol. II sells for silly money on Amazon now that it's out of print. I want a copy.

Russian Criminal Tattoo

I've been doing too many home tattoos on myself lately (3 in the last week). I started this skull on my thigh ages ago, but stopped as it wasn't very good. Then a few days ago I decided to have another crack at it, so I added an oak leaf to it and started sharpening up the outline on the skull. I'm going to try and fix the crown and cigar next, before finishing the skull outline fully, and then lastly I'll try and add some shading. It was inspired by the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia by Sergey Vasiliev and Danzig Baldayev. The best thing about criminal tattoos - is that if they turn out to look shit - they still look authentic. In other unrelated news, this evening I managed to block up my bath plughole with my pubes.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYgZ4P3CBS4
The best thing about Christmas Day is that you're allowed to drink alcohol at 9:30 in the morning; it's the one day of the year when it's actually socially acceptable to behave like Oliver Reed. And I live that. I got some good presents this year - a history book by Henry Mayhew called London Labour & The London Poor, a DVD called Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide, and The Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopaedia: Volume III. These all came from my mum - and they may sound like odd presents - but it's great gifts like these that have made me in to the sensible, well-adjusted role model I am today. I also received loads and loads of pants. If you want to find out why read here. Videos Nasties have appealed to me since I was a teenager - I liked the  lurid box covers you used to see in video shops, with titles such as Cannibal Terror, Don't Look in The Basement and I spit on Your Grave. In fact, along with the trailers, the box art and crude titles are better than the actual films themselves. Russian criminal tattoos have also been a big influence in my life, and are part of the reason I'm scared to set foot in Russia in case I'm murdered.