Horoscopes… (Horror Scope?)
I don’t usually bother with horoscopes, as I think they’re nonsense. But that’s only because I’m a Capricorn and we’re very skeptical…
I recently looked through a horoscope book—now that I’m 30—and found it not only had a rundown of all the signs, but it also analysed birth dates too. So what did it say about mine, which falls in December?
As a Capricorn, you are pragmatic and practical, but you rarely achieve anything because you are easily distracted.
You are a hard worker and probably have trouble relaxing.
At times, you prefer your own company, though you are very witty.
You have a quiet charm that draws people towards you and makes you popular.
You have a long fuse but a very bad temper when finally provoked.
You have a tendency to be mean.
You have a 9-inch willy.
(Alright, I made the last one up.)
It reads like something out of a psychiatrist’s report, so Capricorns must be the star sign to hang around with then. Obviously, I refute all of it.