< < Back


  • AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: Funny, Moustaches

    1 Comment

    Follow these handy tips and you, too, can grow your very own handlebar moustache *. And I should know because I am an expert in the field.

    (*might not work for girls)

    Step 1

    Stop shaving your top lip. This sounds obvious, but this is the tricky part and takes dedication. You will feel very silly for a couple of weeks; this is the minimum it will take to grow a proper moustache (i.e not one like Lou Bega). A full handlebar moustache will take at least 6 weeks to grow.

    After 2-3 weeks:

    Step 2

    Trim the moustache in the middle, along the lower edge – when it starts to hang over your top lip. Otherwise you’ll look like Nietzsche or David Crosby. You can also start combing the moustache in the centre to form a sort of parting.

    Step 3

    Like a stroke victim, you will need to learn how to drink liquids from a glass all over again. Guinness is very problematic, but stick with it – you’ll get there!

    Step 4

    Start twiddling the ends up. This is probably very unhygienic and will irritate the hell out of everyone around you. You might also need to use wax.

    Step 5

    Wait. And wait. And wait.

    Step 6 (optional)

    When you shave it off, get a tattoo on your finger to remind you how cool you were. Note – this is painful.

    If you then start experimenting with other Hulk Hogan/Village People styles of moustache – you know you’ve gone too far and must stop.


1 Response to How To Grow a Handlebar Moustache

  • Veronica wrote on October 14, 2013 at 7:41 // Reply

    Hey! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a
    team of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us valuable information to work on.
    You have done a outstanding job!


FILL THE FIELDS TO LEAVE A REPLY. Your email address will not be published.