Follow these handy tips and you, too, can grow your very own handlebar mustache *. And I should know because I am an expert in the field.
(*might not work for girls)
Step 1
Stop shaving your top lip. This sounds obvious, but this is the tricky part and takes dedication. You will feel very silly for a couple of weeks; this is the minimum it will take to grow a proper mustache (i.e not one like Lou Bega). A full handlebar mustache will take at least 6 weeks to grow.
After 2-3 weeks:
Step 2
Trim the moustache in the middle, along the lower edge – when it starts to hang over your top lip. otherwise you’ll look like Nietzsche or David Crosby. You can also start combing the moustache in the centre to form a sort of parting.
Step 3
Like a stroke victim, you will need to learn how to drink liquids from a glass all over again. Guinness is very problematic, but stick with it – you’ll get there!
Step 4
Start twiddling the ends up. This is probably very unhygienic and will airritae the hell out of everyone around you. You might also need to use wax.
Step 5
Wait. And wait. And wait.
Step 6 (optional)
When you shave it off get a tattoo on your finger to remind you how cool you were. Note – this is painful.
If you then start experimenting with other Hulk Hogan/Village People styles of moustache – you know you’ve gone too far and must stop.
Tags: handlebar moustache, how to grow a handlebar moustache, Moustache, Tom Fogarty
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